Ugh. I've had the same problem. I like MAC Mineralize in Light. If you apply it with a buki brush it actually provides good coverage all alone, and is sheer enough that it doesn't look cakey. It also blends really well. If you want a more traditional foundation (i.e. not a powder) I've been using MAC studio sculpt in NC15. It's a gel-like formula that is really moisturizing and a little goes a long way. I used to use Aveda's tinted moisturizer, but even they're lightest shade, Aspen, was too yellow-y for my skin.

I'm pretty pale myself and I just use a Mary Kay pressed mineral powder foundation in the next-to-lightest color they have. Its coverage is relatively sheer and blends into the rest of my skin. When I need some extra coverage, I use Almay Barely There liquid foundation - I use it sparingly and only where I need it, kind of like concealer, except it's lightweight. Then I'll cover that with the normal mineral powder to blend it all together. 

If you decide to switch to a powder foundation though, its really important to use a good moisturizer, because by the nature of the powder, it'll cling in a weird way to any dryness on your face. So as long as you're washing and moisturizing like you should (no matter your skin type) it should be just fine.

I have exact same discription of features but have dark circles sometimes due to fairness. I use a light foundation from barbara daly, a touch of ivory concealer. a rose blush that is light and not heavy which i apply the same colour to my lips to get a natural looking winter blush face. if still look washed out then use a little bronzer but do not go to town on it because too much looks tacky. I also use a mousse eyeliner to do a thin pin up girl cat flick and 1 layer of mascara to open my eyes. Hope that helped.